One day...

I'll be an actual grown up. 

I've mentioned this goal once or twice or twenty different times on my blog before. 

And depending on the mood you catch me in,

"being an actual grown up" can mean eleventy different things.

For example,

sometimes I feel like a real grown up when I go grocery shopping all by myself

(although, lately that's been Robbie's job - God bless that man.)

Or when I'm teaching and I realize that I'm in charge of a whole classroom full of students.

It stills always kind of takes me by surprise.

Sometimes I feel like a grown up when I check my bank account

and either get really excited about all the money I have (ie, the beginning of the month)

or really depressed about all the money I don't have (ie, the end of the month).

I usually always feel like a grown up when I book and go on vacations all by myself well, with Robbie

and when I have to clean my house all by myself.

Being independent makes me feel like a real grown up.

But other times, 

I find myself still feeling like a complete child

and still wishing for those "grown up" years where I'll be able to do certain things

that I can't do now,

no matter how "grown up" I may appear.

For instance,

when I'm a real, full-time grown up I'll be able to...

- dress appropriately for "chilly" weather.

Right now I've got really hot weather under control (shorts and flip flops)

and really cold weather under control (everything I can effing find in my closet)

but that in-between, chilly weather is still tough.

Like what exactly does 70 degrees mean?

No matter what I choose to wear, I either find myself too hot or too cold.

- stop hitting the snooze button.

I'm still holding on to the fact that I will grow up to be a morning person.

That I'll hear my alarm go off, and I'll magically be ready to go.

- stop falling asleep in the car.

Seriously, I'm like that crying baby that you drive around the block with 

just so they'll fall asleep.

Put me in the car for more than 15 minutes and I'm out.

It's a childish problem.

Something I'm sure won't happen when I'm finally a real, full-time grown up.

- fly on an airplane all by myself.

This is one thing I'm still not wild about ever doing.

I get so nervous about flying,

not just the actual plane part, but the finding where I'm supposed to be,

keeping up with my ticket, catching all my layovers,

it stresses me out.

Although I'm sure it does not stress out real, full-time grown ups.

- read before going to sleep.

Instead of checking Instagram for the elventy millionth time.

Reading is supposed to be relaxing and good for the brain.

And something I hear grown ups delight in.

- cook things from scratch.

This is actually happening more and more lately.

Just more proof that I'm well on my way to this whole grown up thing.

I've always thought it was so cool when people threw together all sorts of ingredients

to make something completely yummy and delicious. 

I want to do that all the time when I grow up.

And in honor of being a grown up 

and it being time to #backthatazzup,

something I'm sure real, full-time grown ups do all the time,

I'll leave you with these gem.

Happy Friday dudes!