Monday, November 17, 2014

I think I'm becoming a self-righteous teacher...

Robbie and I went to church last week for the first time in way too long.
Ever since we've been married, we've struggled finding our "grown-up" church home.
Consequently, we've spent the past three years hopping back and forth among several different churches. While we enjoy the different experiences we gain from attending different churches, we do miss the continuity of a permanent church family. Along with the continuity of regular attendance.

But I'm getting off topic.
The sermon this past week was based on Matthew 25:14-30, the Parable of the Talents and the risk that it takes to follow God and do His Will.
And I realized something.
Something that's been in the back of my head for a while, but something I'm finally ready to fully admit.

Anytime someone talks about ministry or using the talents God gives us or helping others, I immediately get on my high-horse because I'm a teacher.

By default, I help others everyday.
I go above and beyond daily to give more to others than I do myself.
I honestly believe that God called me to be a teacher and I'm fulfilling that calling every day.
I sacrifice. I give. I love unconditionally.
Every single day.
Because it's my job. And my calling. And my passion.
The passion that God gave me.

But is it enough?

I've questioned this before but today this question is coming from a different frame of reference.
Am I playing it safe because I'm a teacher?
Am I limiting myself? Am I turning down other opportunities to give more, do more, be more, because I'm already giving, doing, being so much?

Admittedly, when Barnes & Noble asks if I want to donate a dollar to help give books to a child in need, I say no. Because I already "donate" multiple dollars to buy multiple books for multiple children in need, in the form of my classroom library and the scholastic books I give as Christmas gifts to my students each year.

I think sometimes I justify turning down mission trips or tithing opportunities or other stewardship deeds because I am already a steward in my classroom.
But maybe instead of justifying the things I already do, I should open my heart to what God wants me to do. Maybe being a steward in the classroom is enough. Maybe that's exactly where God wants to be and what God wants me to be doing.

But maybe it's not.

Maybe He wants me to do more. And I've been so wrapped up in the good that I'm doing in my classroom (because even if it makes me sound a bit full of myself...I am doing good in my classroom) that I'm missing opportunities to do good in other places too.

1 comment:

  1. Wow friend. What a wonderful and complicated perspective you have! I completely see what you mean--about what you do being enough. I feel as if teachers give more than most. And you're completely justified in that you feel like maybe you give enough (or more!) But it's good that you're opening your mind and heart to the other opportunities, too. You might be called to do other things if those passages are open.