Monday, June 24, 2013

Is This Real Life?

I have been in serious David After Dentist mode all weekend.

All because of a little week old baby named North West. I can't even type that with a serious face. I'm just waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out from the sidelines and say "JK everybody - you've been Punk'd." 

Unfortunately, the fact that they've supposedly given her a "nickname" makes me think that it's all too real. To which I have to say, whatdafuq?

Except, I now understand why everyone was keeping it so hush hush. Because everyone thought it was soooo stupid. 

I'm sure Kim confronted Kourtney about it first. Since she's the baby expert and all. To which I'm sure her response was something like this.

Khloe was probably left speechless for the first time in her life. Don't worry girlfriend, I've had that same look of confusion on my face for the past three days.

This whole debacle has probably dropped Kim from Kris's Favorite Child Spot. She's waited her whole life to be a grandma and she was on such a good roll. Now she gets to add Nori to her "World's Best Grandma" t-shirt and I'm sure she's thrilled about it.

And poor Mason. You know he was so excited about finally having another playmate. Only to find out her name is North West. Kiki, what were you thinking?

I know this pregnancy was hard on Kim and she was probably just physically and emotionally drained. She wasn't thinking straight when the nurse asked her that fateful question. Being a new mom with millions of dollars and 15 nannies is hard.

As for "Yeezus" himself. Who knows what he was he was doing when this decision was made. Probably staring in the mirror or writing yet another offensive song. Or probably still trying to get used to the fact that he knocked up the still technically married, extremely high maintenance Kim Kardashion, making him an unofficial part of the craziest family in America for at least the next 18 years. 

Don't worry Kanye, I'm sure Scott and Lammy have some stellar advice on how to handle all that estrogen. That is, if they still talk to you after being dumb enough to name your daughter North West.



  1. DYING LAUGHING...omg THIS!!! Everything you posted!

  2. This makes my day. You rock at these kinds of blog posts. R-O-C-K in the USA, kind of rock.